Calm in the Chaos
My house is driving me crazy right now.
It’s on the market.
And I have been instructed to leave it as close as possible to the state it was in when staged and styled for pictures. This looks pretty good when you come in, like this perfect idea of people living in a space. It’s terrible for actual living. And it does not mesh with my highly sensitive needs.
All the tables have things carefully arranged on them. Which means there’s nowhere to put your cup or book. Heaven forbid you actually read the coffee table magazines or curl up with the pillows and blankets! You’ll have to put them back just so. And there’s so much stuff everywhere. The dressers I ordinarily hide in the closet so that there’s a flow for getting ready and space in the room are out. My meditation space is hidden in the closet. Pieces of furniture line the walls like soldiers, facing in, instead of out to enjoy the view. There’s no cozy chair near the kitchen, no place for my daughter or a friend to curl up as we chat and I cook, or for me to relax while something slowly caramelizes on the cooktop.
It’s for the best. And it won’t be forever.
So what’s a person, for whom environment is a crucial component of daily recalibration, to do? I approach the situation realistically. Instead of seeing my whole home as a big cocoon, I have crafted little oases of calm and cozy, corners I flee to in this time of much movement.
I have leaned into the winter, and build fires as often as I can in the downstairs office, where the bouncy IKEA chair goes back and forth between the corner and facing the fire, depending on whether we’re in living mode or showing mode. My grandmother’s rocking chair also moves back and forth, my current meditation seat when in use, and a spot for rocking Baby when setting the scene. I nest on the settee at the dining table, the sunny corner of the sofa, and spend a lot more time reading in bed. I’m honing my travel system as well — depending on whether planes, trains, or automobiles are involved, there are pillows and fleecy pullovers, ear plugs, electrolyte mixes, and barley coffee…
The calendar has prioritized places for calm as well, more than during “normal” life. Both my daughter and I need space around all the Quick, drop what you’re doing, clean everything, grab the dog, and depart!
But, often, we find ourselves in situations like this that call for a surgical approach to spatial sanity. Whether we’re sharing our space, temporarily or for the long haul, in the midst of a move, traveling, or just have so much going on that we can’t tackle it all at once, we find more life, more levity, more sanity when we prioritize the space needed to let go, to come back to our best selves.
So, instead of just soldiering on in times of tumult, like those chairs lined up along the wall for pretense, I propose a pause. Take a breath. Listen to that still, small voice that cries out for comfort. And build a little cocoon.
— AH